Expectations Vs Reality based on romance novels

Hey Hey Hey Unicorns,

Happy valentines day/ single and fabulous day( some of us say this to console ourselves).  I was doing yoga last week and suddenly in between the oh-shit-i-can’t-bend-this-far pose and pooping myself i had this idea to write about the way too high expectations used to have about dating and love in general. Now i have since grown past this and i actually enjoy being single i see it as time to grow and develop myself into the woman i want to be so, love is on hold.

So here they are

  1. They would be so fine that you would be awestruck and they would magically fall for your sassiness and kind heart:

Dear lordt Jesus i cannot tell you how fucking wrong this. Why i ever thought this would happen in real life is beyond me.

Expectation:

Hot Person: Unicorn i have fallen for you, your kind heart and your wiliness to call me out on my bullshit when no one does

Unicorn: Oh Hotness i love you just the way you are

End card smooching

Reality

Hot person: Hi my name is hotness

Unicorn:………who sent you, is this a dare, where are the camera’s

 

2. The Christian Grey expectation: I realized how fucked up this dude was when i read his Point of view, that removed every single delusion i had

Expectation:

Grey: This is my playroom

Unicorn: Oh wow Spank me daddy ( not what was said)

Reality

Grey: this is my playroom

Unicorn: BOY  YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP…BOY BYE *runs to the hills*

3. The rich /poor/jock/nerd/bad boy/good 

Okay while i have seen this happen and it does happen in a ratio of one to million. Yeah don’t get your hopes up

 

4.Broken bird syndrome heroes

This one overplayed part that romance novels overplay sometimes, to the point that its just laughable.While this happen in real life sometimes, i would like to say that is a person doesn’t want to change and be a better person you have no power to do that. From experience, i have noticed that some people could use their brokenness to manipulate you, bitch run you are not here to take panadol for another persons headache.

Experience

Broken human: i have mummy and daddy issues, but i love you and i only need to beat you once a day

Unicorn: Oh hot-dude-that-has-told-me-he-has-mummy-issues, i love you lets work this out

Reality

Broken human: i have mummy and daddy issues, but i love you and i only need to beat you once a day

Unicorn.:……..OKAy…i will see my self to the door there’s the number for a therapist goodbye

5. Damsel in distress

Okay this one in recent years i find myself super pissed off at dumb female heroines. I mean Holy potatoes on a stick you have a fucking brain bitch use it. Nowadays if i even catch a hint of stupidity in female characters in romance novels i will not finish the book. Thankfully these kinds of heroines are becoming a relic,with bad ass Sorcha from Heart of the Fae and Onyesonwu from Who Fears death and many more I rest easy knowing that my daughters and sons would read about strong females and be inspired.

Expectation:

Prince Charming: oh my fair unicorn i shall save you from the dragon

Unicorn: OH my fair prince i shall wait for you in my castle

Reality

Prince charming: oh…ermm i was supposed to save you

Unicorn: Yeah…thanks i got this, this dragon is my bitch

 

Disclaimer: No cupid was not hurt while making this post.

Hope you had a wonderful day, and remember love yourself first  because its only then you would be able to see clearly when you are in love with another person. And if you are single be happy one day you will meet your perfect team player till then love yourself.

 

See ya on the next rainbow

Unicorn

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