I feel weird and i am going to try my best to describe it.
I want to read but i can’t seem to pick up a book, i had to force myself to write this so that i can process my head.
maybe i am too much in my feelings?
Lately i have been thinking about my blog and its like i don’t enjoy writing anymore which is bad because i don’t want to give this up. I started this blog because of my love for books. And now i just feel like its absolutely generic, i even questioned if i really love reading? I know!! I just feel like crap because i set out to do this and now it seems like i am giving up on it.
maybe i put to much pressure on myself?
Look i know i may not have the best review style out here and sometimes when i read my past posts i’m convinced my evil Unicorn wrote it.
At this time i would say i am taking a break from my blog but i don’t even know what i am taking a break for when i have not written as much as i would like to.
Or maybe i’m not as creative as i thought i was?
I am still on the hunt for a professional logo and at one point i was happy to get one, i looked around for a professional one but then the price had me thinking twice. And don’t get me wrong i would love to pay the artist their full money because i looked through their portfolio and i saw the awesomeness they created. But i don’t have any money and this makes me angry at myself a lot. the fact that i am a 23 year old adult living in my parents house and i haven’t achieved anything. I don’t like asking my parents for money because the have done enough for me and right now they just need to plan their retirement funds. I am working at a place that absolutely demotivates me and i cannot leave until my one year service is over.
I feel like picking my skin, i don’t know why but that’s just some weird state i am in right now.
At one point it felt like everything was coming together, i’m working on my plans and being productive and shit. but now its all coming apart, i have that feeling of i am not doing enough to get were i want to.
I just needed to get that out of my chest. and process whats going on in my head.
As always spread rainbows, even when it seems dark i promise i’m trying to do that here.
P.s: lemme know if you guys ever feel like this.